Its becoming so REAL

I am not sure the word to use so this doesn't sound so harsh but "dreading" just might be the best fit.  I have been dreading the month of November - I knew as soon as it hit time would fly and the transition would come quickly.  It just seems the minute my mind realized it was November 1st I cry everytime I think about it.  Now don't get me wrong, I am super excited for my new position and the change it entails, and once March comes around I will like it even more, but what I am going to have to do on December 1st is a Mom's, Wife's, Daughter's, Sister's worst nightmare.  I am scared, I am sad, I am sick, I am confused, I feel so alone and I don't think I can be strong anymore.  How am I going to be able to spend roughly 16 weeks away from my kids and the love of my life?  Especially me...the one that gets homesick when we take road trips as a family?  I cried when I was dropping the kids off this morning at Daycare, there is literally only a handful more times I will be doing that, I cried when I drove to work thinking I only have a few weeks left of doing what I have done for 5 years.  I cry as I put my kids to bed because I miss them already when they are not with me at my side.  I know I am making a bigger deal of this - its not permanent and eventually we will all be happy and together and starting a new chapter in our lives but this introduction to our book is a lot for me to digest right now. 
Everyone has been so good with us and me especially telling me it will all work out and we will do great and time will fly and I get reminded it will all be okay and I am more than confidant that it will work out and everything will be okay, but I have also realized that this is going to be hard.  I am going to have my moments and I am going to cry...alot... and that is okay.  I will also have my days where I am strong and will be able to make it through the day like a champ.  I sure do hope the days that are hard and that I am sad happen a lot less than the days I am strong.
So here it is November 2nd - yes everyone I have faked it very well the last few months, I am scared and not as strong as one may think.  I have hid it well and now it is breaking through I am scared and sad.  We will see what the rest of the month holds, hopefully lots of happy family time and we can look back on our blog of 2010 and smile at these times because they past so quickly and our family is together and happy when we are reading this.