I can't believe its been 4 years! There isn't a day that goes by that I don't think about you and what you might be doing? We sure do miss you around here, it is amazing how still to this day when we are all together I can still feel someone missing. I know you are always watching over us and especially lately you have been keeping a close eye on your family - but wouldn't it just be easier if you were here with us and loving us in person and kepping tabs on us here. There are still many times I ask the question why did you take him from us. Does it ever get easier? I think for more reasons than not my feelings are very selfish...I want you to see my kids and watch them entertain everyone. I wanted my kids to get to snuggle with you in your chair and sit next to you at the bar as you guys ate your meals. There are just so many wonderful memories that I have that I just wish my kids would have had the same ones. There are many other reasons I wish you were still here - it is just so hard sometimes to understand.
We went to the cabin this summer - just stopped by one day to show them where it was and remind them what it looked like and that place will never be the same without you. All my memories up there have you in them and the wonderful place you created for your family, but we can never have those again without you here. My kids loved it up there, running in the dirt and climbing the stairs to the door, but it was hard to watch them knowing how much you loved it there and how much you would have loved to watch my kids play up there. I have a hard time going there.
The girls are starting to ask questions about you a lot. I try my hardest to answer them so they understand, it definitely makes it easier sometimes to be able to talk about you and all my memories. I asked Madelynn the other day if she saw Grandma when she was out running errands with my mom and she answered me so serious and matter of fact "NO, but I saw Grandpa!" They visited your grave to drop off some flowers and say they love you! She likes to talk about you as well - it helps ease her mind. She worries about why you would have left your family, one day she will understand better.
Well as you know we miss you dearly and think about you all the time. I know you have been around lately and watching out for us a little extra and we notice and thank you for being there.
Everyone says time will heal but gosh how much time does it take before the sting in my heart goes away or the sick feeling I get in my stomach everytime I think about you disappears? I know it hasn't been that long and we have so much more time ahead of us, but sometimes this hurt feeling just really isn't fair.
We love you Grandpa!
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